Thanksgiving, even when you don't feel like it?

Thanksgiving, everyone wants to share what they are thankful for, everyone expects you to be super grateful for everything you have. Don't get me wrong, I am super grateful for my husband, my family, my salvation, and my friends; but who isn't? If you aren't then maybe you are green and related to the Grinch somehow. I know we are suppose to be content with what you have. Now I sat down on Thursday and looked through the ads like any penny pinching American and tried to find something I just had to have. To be honest with you there wasn't anything I just had to go buy. (Let me just insert here quickly that Chris and I still went out because it is our tradition, we love four AM sales.) This is what I realized the one thing that I do not have I can not buy at Macy's, Best Buy or Target! If I had to pay full price for it I would, I wouldn't have waited till Black Friday to get it. Here is the thing everyone wants to complain about the person to their left and right who just aren't grateful enough at Thanksgiving, but sometimes you don't know what they have been through or what they haven't been through.

Don't get me all wrong I am so grateful and believe that I should be content with where God has me now! What He has in store for us. Even if it is not what I wanted. It is hard though the give up a dream. We can say it is not the plan God has for us now or ever. On the other hand the Bible commands us to be fruitful and multiply! If you trust in a literal interpretation I would have to say this is not God's original plan. With that said He is allowing it, and I have to respect that.

The things that sometimes hurts the most, if not being able to carry my child, to sustain their life when they are the size of a pea. Not being able to give birth, nurse, hold them right away, love them from the moment they are conceive, knowing I am doing everything I can do that's best for them.

Foster care is a scary thing, as your first priority is reuniting the child with their parents, no matter how bad the circumstances there are involved in their placement. The goal is to partner with the parents to improve their parenting skills. What hurts is that my potential child will have to start their life in circumstance that are less than best! I know that Chris and I will love any child that comes in to our home and that this isn't what we should be the worried about. Then again all you ladies who have given birth to your children could you imagine not providing every moment of love for those precious babies in those early days.

Update, we still haven't had our first home meeting, and the past two weeks class has been canceled. Please pray that we can have our first meeting so we can know what things we have to do to get our home approved (there is a whole other blog). The sooner we do that the sooner we can have our second visit and be certified to have children. We are so excited and can not wait to add baby laughter to our home and some crying and dirty diapers,