I'm Back! I think?

 I know, I know, almost a year since my last post. Last year this time we had had the Happy Meal for a few months. A lot has happened. Big Mac transition to live with his grandparents in October. August to October were very hard months for us. Honestly in some ways we are still recovering from that time period in our lives. To keep it short and not get into many details we had gotten to a point where the Big Mac was not responding well, threats were made, and several hospitalizations later we decided it was time we split from him. As much as we love Big Mac I am pretty confident that I know I could have never given him the forever home he needed and his heart desired so much to be with his grandparents it was the right thing.

   After Big Mac left we had a up and down road with Small Fry, and his case, and by the end of March he left us to return home with his mother. That was probably one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. My heart still breaks from time to time. I wonder if he thinks we have forgotten about him or if he even remembers. The worst part of fostering is you are always in a better position then the biological parents. So when they go home they are often going home to a smaller house, less income, they may not be offered the same opportunities that we would offer our children. So it is hard not to think they would be better with you, but being rich doesn't make a good parent (not that we are), and we all make mistakes, so with that I trust their mom is doing the best she can for her children. I know she loves them very much!

   So during the time it was just Small Fry we had put some feelers out for adoptable kids and we got a call about a two and three year old girls. We kind of had a feeling Small Fry was leaving and thought we were done fostering for a while and thought if they are adoptable we would meet'em. They came for a couple of day during the last week in November and we knew this was not our forever children. The night of December 1st we dropped the girls back off at their current foster family, little sad but very relieved and tired. After putting Small Fry down and grabbing a fruit roll up with a tongue tattoo Chris and I laid down. We were laying in bed and talking about how that age may not be the best for us, and we said no more placements for a while. we turned the lights off and I said "well unless they call with infant twin girls!" (this has been my prayer since Chris and I were married identical twin girls, call me crazy) Maybe two hours later at 12:03 my phone rang, I looked over and it was a Berkshire number so I picked it up and they had seven month old twins who needed a place to stay! We were first to be called because we had just talk to this social worker because she was the girls we had just dropped off worker and she just happened to be on call that night. Never did I mention twins to her or our lack of willingness to take anymore placements. If I had she may have never called. Chris who is not a person who you can talk to in his sleep said okay, but I told her to give me five minute to talk to him. He agreed that I have asked for this for so long, we had to do it and I called her back maybe two minutes later and said yes. Her last words were to me was go get some sleep and I will call you when we are on our way over.

   I tried but I couldn't! Small Fry had a crib but it wasn't like I had two more laying around. We had just had the girls there that week and the house was a disaster. I had half way decorated my Christmas tree, and I wasn't even sure if we would have formula for them. Thankful I had a pack N play and I set that up in what was at that time an office. I did some dishes and cleaned the kitchen. Turned the Christmas tree lights on and cleaned the living room. I even went into Small Fry's room and talk to him while he was sleeping. I told him things are going to be different in the morning but I still loved him. Finally around two am I received a call they would be here soon. I can remember it so clearly the van driving up, walking out the door, both of them in snowsuits. I remember walking into the house, the glow of the Christmas tree lights, and the smell of the tree and the 409. I was scared out of my mind, I had my guard up, but I was so excited too. That's the night we met Lucy and Ethel for the first time. I can not say I loved them that night the way I love them now, but I did love them.

   I love these girls so much, sometimes i just sit around a tear up thinking about it. These girls are amazing! I have been scared to blog too much it about them, it hurts when they go home, it really hurts. I tried for a while to not get too attached, but this is what I have prayed for for some many years. How do you not attach. Right now it looks like they will be here for a while, but in foster care that can change in five minutes. I have to be willing for the Lord to lead us where He wants us, and lead who He wants here, here.

   The next day was pretty crazy we had nothing, no clothes, not enough formula, no idea of a schedule. I was told they never slept, since the night I got them they have slept till almost 8 every morning with at least three hours worth of naps every day. People came, dropped of everything and anything I needed. I took the girls to their initial doctors appointment in two of Small Fry's outfits because I didn't have anything else. Since that week, life has happened Small Fry left, My sister had a baby, Christmas has come and gone, we have had VBS, and we have fallen in love with these ladies! Who knows what the future holds for Lucy and Ethel, or Chris and I. What I know is they were meant to come stay with us for now! 

Prayer Request:

My health, we have just been bombarded with more problems with my endo, that will more than likely cost us a serious chunk of money. Please pray that we will Trust God and make the right decisions. 

Car we have to get a new one :(

The girls case, it is nothing like the Happy Meals and with that said no two case are ever the same. Please pray for the girls and their bio parents. Pray they will make good decisions and take this time as a chance to work on themselves. 

Pray for Lucy and Ethel to continue to grow and hit all developmental milestones. 

Pray for Chris and I to trust the Lord! He has the master plan, right?