Should I be Nesting?

So today we met with the new home finder assigned to our case, she is not like our previous one, but she seems like she gets things done fast though and I like that. We had a bunch of forms to sign basically our contract, manual, disciple guidelines (no spanking), and confidentiality guidelines (no Facebook)! She walked around our house checked all the things we fixed (back in January) from our last visit. She shared with us that they had just had a placement for a 1 year old and 3 month old that they didn't have a family to place them with so they outsourced them to another agency. As much as that upset me that also encouraged me that there are children out there that need homes in our age range. She seemed pretty confident that we will receive a call soon. She all but short of promised us our license and certifications will be done by next Friday and she would bring ours to us personally since she lived close by.

Immediately after she left I was super excited! Wow, it could be anytime now. Chris and I have been preparing for this for months now, we are ready for this. Now though Chris isn't here and I am thinking about things, I am scared! I am super scared, like I could throw up scared.

This is such a sad thing, there is a mother and a father out there that will have their children taken away from them for whatever reason. There is a child or children out there that have done nothing wrong that will be taken away from the only life they have known. Both parties are suffering from significant loss and heart break, and Chris and I are going to help these children? Really Chris and I, who the extent of our care of children is watching them for a few hours and being the cool babysitter with the good milk! REALLY? How am I going to help a parent when I haven't really parented myself?? Should I be the person they drop a child off to? My head is telling me no, it is screaming at me with loud sirens NOOOOOO!!

However, I know God has brought me to this place, brought me to this very point in my life to remind me it isn't about me! We haven't traveled the road of infertility for me, we haven't taken these classes for me, and we sure aren't taking care of these children for me (as much as I like to think everything revolves around my wants and me!). Yeah, it will be super cool if we find our forever child the first go around, chance are though that will not be the case. God has put us here to be a blessing to those children, a blessing to those parents. No matter what I go through God will be there growing me. It is Him who should be glorified through my life and our actions.

Isaiah 1:17 (NIV) ...learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow.

1 Corinthians 1:27-31 (NIV)

27 But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 28 He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, 29 so that no one may boast before him. 30 It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. 31 Therefore, as it is written: "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord."

I am reminded that this is not about me, or Chris! This is about God and bringing Him glory in all that we do! Okay yeah I am still scared, just as much as I was when I first started this post but I am sure God didn't bring me this far to leave me by the side of the road. He is bigger and better than AAA!

Isaiah 41:10 (NLT)

¹⁰ Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.
Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you.
I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

So prayers are still more than welcomed!! Here is my short list (LOL)

- Chris and I to be following the Lord through this.

- For the parents of the children, that God will be seen through us and that we can minister to them while their children are in our care.

- Provisions for whatever child(ren) show up here. Car seats, bedding, clothing, toys, and all other things that we have no clue about.

- For understanding and grace we learn to take care of little ones. How often do they eat, when to make them nap, diaper rash, and all the other overwhelming things that you can not learn in a class or a book.

- Chris and I to continue to grow in our relationship together and in the Lord!

I am sure I will find a way to update people about children as they come. If you would like to be on our email list for when we receive children and want to pray with us for these children and their parents please send an email to me at Pattileighcollins@gmail.com or FB message me (some of you have already done so). There are strict guidelines I have to follow so I will not be posting any blogs specific to any one child or updating FB with a multitude of photos (I am sure some of you are happy about that)!!