For My Dad

This is what I read at my fathers funeral in May. I thought I should post it here. Our lives are so short and not important unless we find ourselves investing in others. I pray that as I move forward I can invest and give to others in the simple way and big! 

May 9th, 2014

As I was thinking about what I wanted to share I thought of so many things. Music cranked up in the backyard, grilling chicken and BBQ. I thought about Michaels, D.J.s and Arnold's. Memories of neighbor hood cookouts, and friends always around flooded my mind. Sledding in the middle of the night, and yard sales on Saturday morning that made me smile. I AM a daddy's girl. We talked almost everyday, about silly stuff, maybe not by phone but by email or text. About his finds at the club, or his friends or what I was cooking for dinner, we would talk about the family, my kids, or what we would do the next time I came down to visit from NY or what I would cook him,which was never soon enough for either of us. We would talk about life, or remember the past. He was my go to person on a lot of things.

Bo Graves had a lot of great qualities but I think the one I hope I can cultivate in my life was how giving he was. For someone who always could find a reason to be upset he would was always ready share with others. I remember so many times where he would help people with lawn mowers, or bring them leftovers from our dinners. As a teenager almost every Sunday night he would cook a huge meal and whomever came home with us girls or showed up was welcome to grab a plate and eat. I remember Christmas time we would always have extra gifts wrapped for someone who may just stop by. He always was checking on our neighbors, or an friend going through a rough time. I remember hearing him yell Ramona is coming (our mailman for years) grab him a ice cream sandwich it's a hot one today. I remember him yelling I'd give you a beer if you could get away with it on the job.One specific day that sticks out in my memory clear as yesterday was the day he woke me up one friday during the summer. He said we are going to have hotdogs ready for the garbage and recycle men who come by today. He was ready too, buns, ketchup, mustard, relish, even cans of soda in a cooler. (My dad and his cooler). We sat out  in The front yard with the music blaring and cooked for the trucks as they came by. After awhile we had fed the neighborhood crews so he called the shop and told them to announce it to all the drivers, yep that was the day Dunaire Dr. had garbage trucks and recycling trucks lined up and down the road. I learned from my dad you can drop some cash in plate on Sunday or donated a dollar here and there  but actions is where the rubber meets the road. Giving to people, being there when they needed a friend, dropping a meal off to someone less fortunate, inviting someone over for the holidays who may not have family around and celebrating the people who are often times forgotten, that where it is at, that is what makes the difference in peoples lives.

So next times you see your mailman, or garbage collectors remember my dad and maybe take them a ice cream sandwich.

It's Really Happening!

So okay I have had a hard time blogging. I think the the last post kind of gives you a clue why I haven't been posting a lot.  I was not sure how this case was going and man I was head over heels for these two little girls from the get go. I think though that my fear to put too much info out there has passed and things will be different. Why you ask...
WE ARE ADOPTING LUCY AND ETHEL!!!

Chris and I are through the roof excited! Lucy and Ethel feel like a natural fit to our family, like this is where they were suppose to be all along. I tell Chris all the time that I feel like God put the desire for twin girls in my heart, because He knew Lucy and Ethel would need us.

The girls case was very up and down. At times we weren't sure where they would end up, at one point I couldn't haven't been more convinced they would be moving 900 miles away to a "family" member.Let me just state this for the record the day that their father signed the papers to surrender his rights was a bittersweet day for me. We were sitting in a court room with a judge, several lawyers, caseworkers, family workers, who are unfazed by the events happening. The judge goes through the surrender paperwork line by line it feels like making sure the parent understands what they are signing. after 45 minutes or so the father signed a sheet a  paper and that was it. I was in tears, thinking about it all. How hard it has to be, to be in that position. My heart ached for their father, and the place he had ended up. I feel the same way for their mother. I also want to state that I love their mother and father in a way that is hard to explain because they have given me a huge honor to raise these girls.

Now here is what is next. Chris and I have signed all the paperwork saying we want to adopt these ladies. We are already running and jumping through all hoops gleefully. We are waiting on a certified copy of our marriage certificate, and our lawyer and write up our info. Our adoption worker is coming out on Tuesday and she will be conducting our home-study. We currently have a foster care home-study, and basically we will just update that include the info for adoption. We have some paperwork we have to submit to the state to wait for to come back. By everything we have heard we could have this all done and have a court date before the end of September. So please be praying this all goes smoothly, and that we will have everything in order. Honestly though September feels like it is just around the corner and feels just like a drop in the bucket compared to the almost five years it has taken us to get to parenthood. Also as excited as I am to legally be these two girls mother, I feel like I have been their mother forever.

        Picture January 2013 Black Ethel Pink Lucy
Fun Facts About Lucy and Ethel

Lucy is actually the younger twin, but is so embodies the Lucy persona. Ethel is very much a Ethel.

Lucy and Ethel are identical. What I do know is they were sharing a placenta which is a sure fire way to tell. Lucy though has a raised birthmark on her arm. I think summer season is the church nursery workers favorite season. LOL



.

I'm Back! I think?

 I know, I know, almost a year since my last post. Last year this time we had had the Happy Meal for a few months. A lot has happened. Big Mac transition to live with his grandparents in October. August to October were very hard months for us. Honestly in some ways we are still recovering from that time period in our lives. To keep it short and not get into many details we had gotten to a point where the Big Mac was not responding well, threats were made, and several hospitalizations later we decided it was time we split from him. As much as we love Big Mac I am pretty confident that I know I could have never given him the forever home he needed and his heart desired so much to be with his grandparents it was the right thing.

   After Big Mac left we had a up and down road with Small Fry, and his case, and by the end of March he left us to return home with his mother. That was probably one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. My heart still breaks from time to time. I wonder if he thinks we have forgotten about him or if he even remembers. The worst part of fostering is you are always in a better position then the biological parents. So when they go home they are often going home to a smaller house, less income, they may not be offered the same opportunities that we would offer our children. So it is hard not to think they would be better with you, but being rich doesn't make a good parent (not that we are), and we all make mistakes, so with that I trust their mom is doing the best she can for her children. I know she loves them very much!

   So during the time it was just Small Fry we had put some feelers out for adoptable kids and we got a call about a two and three year old girls. We kind of had a feeling Small Fry was leaving and thought we were done fostering for a while and thought if they are adoptable we would meet'em. They came for a couple of day during the last week in November and we knew this was not our forever children. The night of December 1st we dropped the girls back off at their current foster family, little sad but very relieved and tired. After putting Small Fry down and grabbing a fruit roll up with a tongue tattoo Chris and I laid down. We were laying in bed and talking about how that age may not be the best for us, and we said no more placements for a while. we turned the lights off and I said "well unless they call with infant twin girls!" (this has been my prayer since Chris and I were married identical twin girls, call me crazy) Maybe two hours later at 12:03 my phone rang, I looked over and it was a Berkshire number so I picked it up and they had seven month old twins who needed a place to stay! We were first to be called because we had just talk to this social worker because she was the girls we had just dropped off worker and she just happened to be on call that night. Never did I mention twins to her or our lack of willingness to take anymore placements. If I had she may have never called. Chris who is not a person who you can talk to in his sleep said okay, but I told her to give me five minute to talk to him. He agreed that I have asked for this for so long, we had to do it and I called her back maybe two minutes later and said yes. Her last words were to me was go get some sleep and I will call you when we are on our way over.

   I tried but I couldn't! Small Fry had a crib but it wasn't like I had two more laying around. We had just had the girls there that week and the house was a disaster. I had half way decorated my Christmas tree, and I wasn't even sure if we would have formula for them. Thankful I had a pack N play and I set that up in what was at that time an office. I did some dishes and cleaned the kitchen. Turned the Christmas tree lights on and cleaned the living room. I even went into Small Fry's room and talk to him while he was sleeping. I told him things are going to be different in the morning but I still loved him. Finally around two am I received a call they would be here soon. I can remember it so clearly the van driving up, walking out the door, both of them in snowsuits. I remember walking into the house, the glow of the Christmas tree lights, and the smell of the tree and the 409. I was scared out of my mind, I had my guard up, but I was so excited too. That's the night we met Lucy and Ethel for the first time. I can not say I loved them that night the way I love them now, but I did love them.

   I love these girls so much, sometimes i just sit around a tear up thinking about it. These girls are amazing! I have been scared to blog too much it about them, it hurts when they go home, it really hurts. I tried for a while to not get too attached, but this is what I have prayed for for some many years. How do you not attach. Right now it looks like they will be here for a while, but in foster care that can change in five minutes. I have to be willing for the Lord to lead us where He wants us, and lead who He wants here, here.

   The next day was pretty crazy we had nothing, no clothes, not enough formula, no idea of a schedule. I was told they never slept, since the night I got them they have slept till almost 8 every morning with at least three hours worth of naps every day. People came, dropped of everything and anything I needed. I took the girls to their initial doctors appointment in two of Small Fry's outfits because I didn't have anything else. Since that week, life has happened Small Fry left, My sister had a baby, Christmas has come and gone, we have had VBS, and we have fallen in love with these ladies! Who knows what the future holds for Lucy and Ethel, or Chris and I. What I know is they were meant to come stay with us for now! 

Prayer Request:

My health, we have just been bombarded with more problems with my endo, that will more than likely cost us a serious chunk of money. Please pray that we will Trust God and make the right decisions. 

Car we have to get a new one :(

The girls case, it is nothing like the Happy Meals and with that said no two case are ever the same. Please pray for the girls and their bio parents. Pray they will make good decisions and take this time as a chance to work on themselves. 

Pray for Lucy and Ethel to continue to grow and hit all developmental milestones. 

Pray for Chris and I to trust the Lord! He has the master plan, right?

The Whole Story!

I am sitting here watching Small Fry walk around, play, and babble about something which I think may be in relation to the debt ceiling. I am not convinced he is all to happy with our government currently. Big Mac is at school, and I am keeping my finger crossed he is having a good day. I can honestly say I love these guy! They each have amazing personalities and God created them amazingly I can honestly say though, I am looking forward to a break. Don't give me that I can not believe you do not want to be around them they are your kids, or you have only had them for two months. What I have realized is in this world everyone has an opinion about something. More than likely we all run into someone who thinks they know best about something they have never experienced!

See I am one of those people the kind who worries about how other people see me. I have been working on this for years, not caring what others think only what God thinks. But listen none of us lady's get our hair done, nails did, and eyebrows waxed because we don't care. It is is natural to want to be like and approved of. What I have learned with these kids though is that it is okay to not make everyone happy.

I have had people tell me to pick Small Fry up because he was crying in his stroller, or that that is not an acceptable toy for him to play with. I have gotten the stares in public when Big Mac is throwing a fit, like control your kid. You would think it was like we are ignoring his behavior all together. What I have realized is they don't know anything about me! They do not know what I am doing all day every day with these kids. They do not know about Small Fry or Big Mac, they probably haven't seen in their 30,40 or 80 years the things these kids have. The don't realize I didn't give birth to these kids or that I am not their forever home. So why do I care what they think? Good question, because it is only natural! Should I care what they think, maybe a little. I probably shouldn't take Big Mac out to the store with me if he has been on edge all day out of respect for others at the store. If I don't have to I shouldn't drag Small Fry out if he is fussy! No one enjoys their Panera with the Small Fry screaming. Let me say this though, I am not going to stop living my life! Yes I am a foster mother, and my kids are far from well behaved all the time, and no kid is well behaved all the time! I have been approved by the State of NY (keep you jabs to yourself) to take care of these children. When they received custody of these children they though hey I think Chris and Patti Collins maybe a good fit for these kids needs. I do recall taking a ten week course and having someone inspect my house to see if it is safe! More importantly, God thought we would be a good for a place for this Happy Meal! He knew the choices I would make, he knew the melt downs Big Mac would have in public! He knew that no matter what others think I have the best interest of the these kids in front of His throne!

Yes I make mistakes, but who doesn't. So next time you are glaring or judging anyone not just someone with kids, stop and think about what you don't know about that person.

All apart of the Beast

So on June 30th, Chris and I did something that most normal parents do. We packed up our car, and went on vacation without the kiddos. It was a horrible feeling. What was abnormal is I had only talk to the lady on the phone three times and met her and her husband and three kids once, where the kids stayed. If you are reading this then you know I can be somewhat particular about things. I like to clean my washing machine out once a month with Clorox, I have a clear idea of how I like the dishes done, I am particular about what the children watch on TV and how much of it they get. I slather sunscreen on Small Fry like crazy with this red hair. I like to make sure he is also getting the right amount of veggies and not too many fruits. I want him to like his veggies more than the easy to love fruits.

So you can imagine the things that ran through my mind when I walked out of their house and left for a week. I didn't know if their children would be nice to my lil' guys . I knew these people had to have the same training as Chris and I, and the same background and invasive state checklist checked off. Lets face it though, we have all heard of foster farms, and foster parents who are really not in it for the children. I really haven't come across any of those yet, but the Lifetime Channel really exploits this concept in the movie line ups.

Much to my surprise Chris and I enjoyed our time sleeping in and spending time with my family. Chrissy's wedding was amazing, and Big Mac and Small Fry behaved so well, I started to wonder what we were doing wrong at home. The family who took care of them were amazing and really showed my little happy meal a lot of love and fun, and I pray that if we go out of town again and can not take the kiddos that they will be there to help us love this children.

Chris reminded me that a lot of work went into Big Mac's behavior before this little trip and that it his stellar performance was a product of a lot of work on our end. Like my mother always said she would rather us act up at home.

Now we are all back home and hoping we settle back into a nice routine.

Big Mac is in a summer program at school and I can't wait till he goes on Monday so I can get some cleaning and unpacking done. Small Fry popped two teeth while we were gone for a grand total of six teeth. They both appear to be growing into little giants. Small Fry is looking less like a infant and more like a toddler, and he is working hard on that toddling. It wont be long before he

is chasing me around. Big Mac is looking so much older also.

I can not begin to understand how there mother feels every week now. I know for sure I will be sending more pictures, if in ten days I feel like they are completely different I am sure she is overwhelmed by their changes every

week.

Prayer Request

- Bio Mom! She is a nice lady and she loves her kids. It cant hurt for all of us to pray that things work out for her.

- Big Mac, he is working hard towards a goal at school and I think he will be able to make it in the next week, if he does he can go on a beach trip on Thursday. This is a weekly thing, but it is hard work to stay on the top level which they call Alpha! He is working his way back from the bottom level. Three More Days!

- Small Fry is getting teeth like crazy, and growing like crazy!

- Chris's job. He has had a hard time with the kids and work. Please pray that the Lord gives him strength, there is a lot going on at the church. PTL we are having the groundbreaking service tomorrow and it looks like they will start building on Monday.

- Patti VBS! It is the 17th-22nd! As the director I have not done all I did last year, but I also know the Lord knows my heart and what is going on. I am praying that is will all come together, and that the Lord w

ill touch many kids lives! Also pray that the kids will be understanding with me that week. As there is a ton of running around and things to be done.

Since we just got the kids back I really done have a funny convo or story yet. Don't worry I will keep listening for one and as soon as I have one I will post.

I will leave with this note that we bought Big Mac a Bible the other day. Today we gave it to him and he was so excited. Not sure why because he can not read and I am not sure he really understand all the praying and "God Stuff" yet. He asked is he could take it outside and show his friends next door. We said yeah sure, kind of baffled, like this was not a new lego set. We hear him showing it to the kids and he said ye

ah we take these to church and we read little section of it every week. Then one of the kids asked why do you go to

church, if I could have heard his answer I would have paid a million dollars. I looked at Chris and said I bet his answer was ... humm because Chris and Patti make me. Right before bed though he had Chris come down stairs and get his Bible so he could have it on the night stand next to him in the AM.

(PS he says the part where people write who it was presented to and by who, and the date you received it. I filled all of that out and he asked me later on this afternoon about it. I told him when he went home he could look at that and remember who gave him the bible and when. He looked at the page and hugged it and hugged me and said "I love my Bible!")

Pictures or Small Fry. He always rubs his head during feeding or when he is sleepy! Sometimes he pulls on it and it makes me think about the playdoh heads that you push and hairs comes out the top. I think he thinks if he pulls hard enough more hair will be there to play with. I just had to also include a shot of his feet. So stinkin' cute!

Simple but Hard Stuff

Wow, don't we all wish the world was perfect and revolved around us. Wouldn't that be great if everyday we woke up and we never tripped over our shoes, or dropped something. If things went exactly (I mean exactly) the way they were suppose to. If the car door never jammed, or it never rain on your head. The great thing is that we all for the most part can handle the spilled milk, or rainy day. If we drop our toothbrush in the sink we just pick it back up, or our pants don't button shut we just pick out another pair.

This is not true of Big Mac though, he doesn't have the skills to deal when the seat belt doesn't buckle on the first try. He surely can't handle the rain on his head (Unless he wants to play outside and it is raining), he can't begin to understand that the world doesn't revolve around what he wants. He can not handle the things that we all deal with on a day to day basis. The basic understanding that there are losses and they don't have to defeat us.

How do you teach a child that it is okay if the toothbrush falls in the sink, or your pants don't go on the first try? That the toothbrush doesn't hate you, or the seat belt doesn't think you are stupid! We surely don't know, we are trying to teach him new word and ways of saying what is really bothering him. My favorite things so far is when I hear him say "Seat belt your fired!" He always chuckles after he says it and it eases the tension that he has towards himself and the seat belt.

We love our Big Mac, and hope that we can learn fast enough ways to help him be the best Big Mac he can be!

Funny Story of the Post:

Big Mac: (screams from the bathroom) He guys want to come see my poop?

Me: No thanks (to Big Mac and Chris)

Chris: What if somethings wrong, we should check it out!

Me: You can tell me!

(Chris enters the bathroom and I walk to the dinning room, I can hear them exchanging wows and what not!

Chris: (Walks out with the biggest smile ever) That was HUGE! I mean really huge.

Me: Really Chris!? (sarcastically)

Chris: If I pooped something that big I would be excited too!

Me: I need a girl!

Two of a Kind in a Full House

So the rumors are true, Chris and I have had for nearly three weeks, two boys staying with us. We have Big Mac who turned seven yesterday, and Small Fry who is nine months old. We are taking care of them until their permanent home situation can be figured out.

Big Mac is a sweet child with a lot of hurt and confusion. He really understands why he is here, and knows what needs to happen to go back home. He goes to school during the week, and requires a lot of structure, prompting, and space sometimes. We know that things didn't get like this over night so we are trying to remind ourselves it wont change over night. I give mad props though to parents of children with mood disorders, or who place on the autism spectrum. Parenthood is a 24/7 things, but I am convinced that that makes it feel more like a 48/7 one. We are committed to doing what is bed for Big Mac, we are convinced another loss will not in anyway be good for him.

He had his birthday yesterday, and he was so excited about it all week. I am not sure what these have looked like on the past to him, but he seemed to have a good day. He finally has his own bike to ride with a helmet. He also got a new blanket for his beds with the Cars cars on it. My inlaws sent him a new race truck, and he really loved that. One things we learned early on with him is a lot of new things can be bad for him. To much change and stimulation. So we decided not to have a party on his true bday, hoping to have one this week with some of his new friends. whom he cannot remember their names. I am always prompting him to call them by their real names.

Small Fry is our little red headed chunker. He is so easy going, and pretty much will go with the flow. He eats, sleeps, requires a lot of diaper changes, then crawls around looking for things to put in his mouth. It is hard with Big Macs toys to make sure he is safe sometimes. Small Fry naps well, and for the most part sleeps through the night. He has grown like a weed since we go him and his hair is getting thicker. For the most part he smiles and goes to anyone with a arm reached out for him. He loves to face outwards so he can see what is going on around him also. He is pulling up on things and trying to walk along the sides of things like couches and tables. I believe it wont be long before he is toddler"ing" around. He is also working on the spoon to mouth concept. It looks more like a drumstick that sometimes gets sucked on though at this point.

Chris and I are realizing that taking two on at the same time so different in age may have not be the wisest choice, but we are sure God has them with us for a reason. This is not a forever thing and we look forward to being able to bless them as much as we can until everything is figured out for these two guys, They are very special, and we love them so much.

Please pray or Chris and I if you think of it. We are really struggling and working on learning how to live and deal with so much really fast. With Big Mac's issues, and a growing baby, it is a lot. We are trying to remember, that we can not do anything in our own strength but we need to rely on Gods!

Side Note: Yesterday we took them to church, and we currently do not have any children's programming during services for children out of kindergarten. Big Mac could technically still go back but we decided to have him stay with us, since it wouldn't be like that in a month. With it being his birthday and all the other attention issues he haswe worried about him sitting through a service so late inthe evening. But he sat through the whole services. He did an amazing job. He was also listening and commenting to be about what our pastor was saying. So what if he heard we were all bricks and he said he could carry a brick, at least he heard something.

Knowledge is power, or is it?

So last night Chris and I made dinner, rented a confusing movie and picked up these books from the library. Honestly as confusing as the movie was, these books we more so. I was thinking about how would I know when to feed or what to feed a one year old, and then how do you take a baby's temp. Which way is best for a baby to sleep and when to you actually potty trained.

See I was focusing on the fact that I may need to know anything about a newborn to a five year old. That is a bit overwhelming. Then I thought this is just not fair most people start with a newborn and they just work on that and learn as they go. Then I realized it is the same thing for me. Why do I think I am so different. I am not, I will get a child and I will not know what to do with it at first, no matter if it is a six month old or a four year old.

Here is the cool thing though, I am going to learn a lot, about all ages. They may drop off a two month old and then a three year old, then when one goes home they may drop off 1 year old. I am going to learn so much about all different ages and different

kids. Then when our forever child shows up that is going to be ours not only will I have help children and families that needed some time to work things out, I will also be more prepared then I would have been otherwise for them.

The more I think about foster care and adoption the more I am reminded how blessed I am to be here traveling this road. I would never wish infertility on someone, but I know that God knew what He was doing.

So as I sit and wait patiently for the phone to ring, I will probably let some dust gather on those books as well. Not that there isn't a lot of great information in them, but as any new parent knows you cant learn it all from a book. I am betting like most of you I will learn the most when the children show up.

So the answer is yes knowledge is power, but you need to be able to regulated and control the power and put it to good use.

Should I be Nesting?

So today we met with the new home finder assigned to our case, she is not like our previous one, but she seems like she gets things done fast though and I like that. We had a bunch of forms to sign basically our contract, manual, disciple guidelines (no spanking), and confidentiality guidelines (no Facebook)! She walked around our house checked all the things we fixed (back in January) from our last visit. She shared with us that they had just had a placement for a 1 year old and 3 month old that they didn't have a family to place them with so they outsourced them to another agency. As much as that upset me that also encouraged me that there are children out there that need homes in our age range. She seemed pretty confident that we will receive a call soon. She all but short of promised us our license and certifications will be done by next Friday and she would bring ours to us personally since she lived close by.

Immediately after she left I was super excited! Wow, it could be anytime now. Chris and I have been preparing for this for months now, we are ready for this. Now though Chris isn't here and I am thinking about things, I am scared! I am super scared, like I could throw up scared.

This is such a sad thing, there is a mother and a father out there that will have their children taken away from them for whatever reason. There is a child or children out there that have done nothing wrong that will be taken away from the only life they have known. Both parties are suffering from significant loss and heart break, and Chris and I are going to help these children? Really Chris and I, who the extent of our care of children is watching them for a few hours and being the cool babysitter with the good milk! REALLY? How am I going to help a parent when I haven't really parented myself?? Should I be the person they drop a child off to? My head is telling me no, it is screaming at me with loud sirens NOOOOOO!!

However, I know God has brought me to this place, brought me to this very point in my life to remind me it isn't about me! We haven't traveled the road of infertility for me, we haven't taken these classes for me, and we sure aren't taking care of these children for me (as much as I like to think everything revolves around my wants and me!). Yeah, it will be super cool if we find our forever child the first go around, chance are though that will not be the case. God has put us here to be a blessing to those children, a blessing to those parents. No matter what I go through God will be there growing me. It is Him who should be glorified through my life and our actions.

Isaiah 1:17 (NIV) ...learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow.

1 Corinthians 1:27-31 (NIV)

27 But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 28 He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, 29 so that no one may boast before him. 30 It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. 31 Therefore, as it is written: "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord."

I am reminded that this is not about me, or Chris! This is about God and bringing Him glory in all that we do! Okay yeah I am still scared, just as much as I was when I first started this post but I am sure God didn't bring me this far to leave me by the side of the road. He is bigger and better than AAA!

Isaiah 41:10 (NLT)

¹⁰ Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.
Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you.
I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

So prayers are still more than welcomed!! Here is my short list (LOL)

- Chris and I to be following the Lord through this.

- For the parents of the children, that God will be seen through us and that we can minister to them while their children are in our care.

- Provisions for whatever child(ren) show up here. Car seats, bedding, clothing, toys, and all other things that we have no clue about.

- For understanding and grace we learn to take care of little ones. How often do they eat, when to make them nap, diaper rash, and all the other overwhelming things that you can not learn in a class or a book.

- Chris and I to continue to grow in our relationship together and in the Lord!

I am sure I will find a way to update people about children as they come. If you would like to be on our email list for when we receive children and want to pray with us for these children and their parents please send an email to me at Pattileighcollins@gmail.com or FB message me (some of you have already done so). There are strict guidelines I have to follow so I will not be posting any blogs specific to any one child or updating FB with a multitude of photos (I am sure some of you are happy about that)!!

Has Spring Sprung?

I wish! I can honestly say I am done with the snow and cold. Warm toes, and tan lines and grass would all be welcomed at this point. I haven't seen grass in months! I don't care if it is green or brown!

It feels like we have been in an holding pattern and so I did not want to update until we had some news. Apparently the person doing our certification went on medical leave and then left our county. Which left our paperwork in limbo, which was weird because I didn't find this out from them but because someone else in our class asked me if I had heard anything. When she told me what she had heard I called and talk to the people at the agency and got things somewhat sorted out. This past Monday I called out of curiosity how things were going with my file and they scheduled a meeting with Chris and I on Thursday the 24th. We are not sure how this is going to work if they are going to have to start over or we are if they will just approve all the past paperwork. This will be interesting I am sure.

We know that there is a reason for the hold up and that God has a plan so it hasn't been to trying. I just hate when I have to call to find out what is going on and track things down. With skiing over for the most part and spring eventually coming though I am reminded of another season that has past and we still haven't had any children in our home, and we haven't found our forever child(ren)! It is hard but we are just praying that where ever they are that they are safe and happy.

With so many other things going on though it has kept us occupied. My sister Carol called several months ago and shared with us that she was expecting her first child this September! This is very exciting and is the first grandchild in 15 years for my parents.

My other sister Chrissy is getting married in July! I have decided to plan a party for Chrissy and a shower for Carol in June.

Chris has been super busy with work, and things at church! Praise the Lord that our building loan for the church has been approved and we should be breaking ground as soon as the snow melts! God has been so good to New Hope! We are so blessed to be apart of such a great church. I can not wait to see how God works through this building process.

Thats all I have for now but I am sure I will be updating more next week when we have more information.